Spark of Synapses

You come into this world free. A dreamer. Then chains begin to form around your tiny wrists and ankles. It starts with religion. It is inflicted upon you. You are not even old enough to read and yet religion has been thrown at you. The chains are carved with your first cross, star, moon, ohm. Then one miraculous day for those around you , you start to stigmatise your thoughts. You say your first words. You have now started to confine meanings, to create boxes, to mumble labels. The chains are filled with the alphabet. You grow up a bit by bit. Feeling free and happy. Asking questions and absorbing the answers given to you. It's time to go to school. New clothes, new backpack, a cool sparkly lunchbox and pictures to keep as memories for this wonderful transition in your life! You learn about rules. Rules of friendships, rules of success, rules of mating, rules of dividing adding multiplying and subtracting, rules of standing out, rules of power, rules of language, rules...

My dear,loving and compassionate human being, I'm filled with pain. A heart wrecking, menacing, skin shredding pain. Is the world hurting me or am I hurting myself? See, the mind is such an interesting thing. Mysterious! Glorious! Unknown. Am I the victim or am I the victimizer? Am I the one who is actually holding the knife? I can't EVER really know the answer, can I? I've been trying to figure this out for so long and it just keeps backfiring. They say that the subconscious can be programmed to defend itself against any change! In a way its the anti-virus system, when change is the virus. So what am I really doing? Are these things actually happening? Am I in control of ANY of it? Is it just my subconscious and my brain that dictates my experiences? And if thats true how the hell am I supposed to know that what I choose to decide is based on the correct data? Am I supposed to decide something else except the way I perceive the world? Or does it stop to that?...