Spark of Synapses

My dear,loving and compassionate human being, I'm filled with pain. A heart wrecking, menacing, skin shredding pain. Is the world hurting me or am I hurting myself? See, the mind is such an interesting thing. Mysterious! Glorious! Unknown. Am I the victim or am I the victimizer? Am I the one who is actually holding the knife? I can't EVER really know the answer, can I? I've been trying to figure this out for so long and it just keeps backfiring. They say that the subconscious can be programmed to defend itself against any change! In a way its the anti-virus system, when change is the virus. So what am I really doing? Are these things actually happening? Am I in control of ANY of it? Is it just my subconscious and my brain that dictates my experiences? And if thats true how the hell am I supposed to know that what I choose to decide is based on the correct data? Am I supposed to decide something else except the way I perceive the world? Or does it stop to that?...

What is the truth? Have you taken a deep breath lately and actually wondered what it is? It seems to me that all we do is hurry. Hurry through our everyday routine, hurry through our life, without taking a moment to ponder the very fundamentals that make our life worthwhile. Why is it that we've lost this curiosity, this excitement and this thirst for knowledge? We have ceased to ask questions. What, why, who, where. These answers have been given to us from an early stage in our life. But have we searched and researched about them? Or have we accepted them as a universal truth? Is there truth? Or is it merely a subjective matter that is different for each and everyone of us? Philosophers have spent their entire lives on researching and making up theories about these things. And yet, we get born, we go to schools and we take these things for granted. These things that cannot be proven in a scientific way. The only real reference is yourself and again, you dont even question who ...