Spark of Synapses

My dear,loving and compassionate human being, I'm filled with pain. A heart wrecking, menacing, skin shredding pain. Is the world hurting me or am I hurting myself? See, the mind is such an interesting thing. Mysterious! Glorious! Unknown. Am I the victim or am I the victimizer? Am I the one who is actually holding the knife? I can't EVER really know the answer, can I? I've been trying to figure this out for so long and it just keeps backfiring. They say that the subconscious can be programmed to defend itself against any change! In a way its the anti-virus system, when change is the virus. So what am I really doing? Are these things actually happening? Am I in control of ANY of it? Is it just my subconscious and my brain that dictates my experiences? And if thats true how the hell am I supposed to know that what I choose to decide is based on the correct data? Am I supposed to decide something else except the way I perceive the world? Or does it stop to that?

Schizophrenia..

An earth made of dreams. People made of stone. Apathy, ignorance, self-obsession. We are slowly dying inside. We kill ourselves bit by bit. We alienate others around us. They don't matter. We are the only substance. A cruel world. Silencing the difference. Stabbing the change in the back. Crazy you call it!! This reality is all we have. Never out of the boundaries. Seldomly out of ourselves. Limits all around us. We secretly long for the materialistic world to consume us, the way we consume it. We crave for the attention of the earth, of the beyond, of the unknown. We have forgotten the love, the empathy, the respect, the inner power, the soul. Breathing is not a conscious act. Touch your hand. Slowly caress the skin on your palm, your fingers. Feel the heat running through every part of the skin you touch. You are alive. Whatever the outcome, whatever the struggle, how you see the world is up to you. Your own choice. Believe that. Touch with your consciousnes

Plasmatic reality and structural imagination, wherever, whatever, whoever unlimited fascination.. Neuronal decisions and plastic imitations, mental barriers and social alienation.. Break the spell, your soul is your creation..

We all use these words. These made up words to describe feelings and objects and colours. But are they real? Isn't there any other form of communication that doesn't divide people further? I am writing now using the words that better suit me, that describe what I feel, the I being the operative word. I know these are the words that I want to use because through my own experiences, these have been the best ones to describe certain things. But is it the same for you? How can we be sure? Someone might say that he saw a flower in a dry field. He might even say it was red, with oval petals, and a dark rounded centre. He might say that it smelled like something fresh, with a hint of rose and a hint of lemon. Still you, me, this certain someone, we would experience this flower in a different way. I am complicating things now by trying to describe how words have become my enemy lately by writing a bunch of them down. Ironic.

In the quest for your true self it is not rare to get lost. Lost within your ego, lost within the self, lost within the thoughts, lost within the feelings. I walk a path unknown. Not to man. Not to the universe. Unknown to myself. Walking blindfolded on a rocky terrain. The path has not been carved into the earth by anyone. I, myself, am sculpting my way through it. A wondrous path, a difficult one. A path filled with the energies of entities lost and found. A path of spirits in the mist. I will not get through it unscathed. I like that. I enjoy the scars that make the psyche grow brighter. It has been said before and I repeat it faithfully. ''It is the journey that is important''. In this quest of happiness, the things that sadden you are not few. When you open your eyes to the imposed cruelty of man to self, nature and others, it gets cold and lonely.  In this fight for compassion, kindness, universality and oneness it is easy to get hurt. A battle of the mind has st

As the leaves now fall into your path, make sure to enjoy your multicoloured carpet. Each turn, a new shade of colour. Open your eyes to the change. Open up your heart to the change. Breathe it in. The nature, the knowledge, the mind, the psyche, the consciousness, the self. All one. Wake up into a new dream. Breathe it in, and let this fall be a start with all the shades of colours.